A local woman called me. It was the typical phone call. She has her grandfather’s stamps and doesn’t want them. Would I look at them and maybe buy them? We set up the date and time to meet.

First of all, she was 30 minutes late getting to my house. She only lives about 10 minutes away. She offered no explanation. To me, people like this are either very disorganized or they don’t have any respect for someone else’s time. A few minutes late – no problem. But thirty?

She handed me a small shoe box of worldwide approvals that were still in glassine envelopes. I’ve seen this kind of material a million times. It’s all common and inexpensive. I took a few minutes to quickly thumb through the few hundred envelopes to make sure nothing of value was hidden in between.

While thumbing through the glassines, the saga begins.

First, she told me that she saw online auctions for stamp collections like this and they were selling for thousands of dollars. “Is that so?” I said quizzically. “Was that on eBay?” She couldn’t remember where the auction was at. Strike one.

She then tried to say that another dealer in a nearby town was interested in the collection. However, he hasn’t seen it yet. There is only one dealer in the town she mentioned and he doesn’t deal in worldwide stamps. I said, “Did you speak to Bob’s Stamps?” (I’m not using the real dealer’s name to protect the innocent.) She couldn’t remember his name. She seemed surprised that I know other stamp dealers. Strike two.

She then said that another dealer from California was interested in the stamps. I guess distance matters. Travelling from California costs a lot of money and involves a large commitment. Again, she couldn’t remember the name of the dealer she spoke to. Strike three!

As I looked over the box of glassines, I figured the original owner didn’t pay more than $50 or $75 for what was there. Most envelopes were marked 10¢ or 25¢. They looked to be from the 1980s. She kept insisting that this collection was worth thousands. I tried applying logic to the situation. I said, “But if these stamps are worth thousands, then why did the company who sold these stamps only price them for a few cents each?” She seemed stunned when I showed her the glassine envelope with the price clearly marked. The envelopes are from a company that is still in business selling approvals to this day. I doubt she ever noticed the price was on there. I continued, “They really lost out by selling these stamps so cheap in the first place.” I didn’t make a dent in her façade.

Then she asked, “Do you keep stamps or sell them?” I explained that as a dealer, I sell stamps to my customers. I guess she didn’t know what a dealer is, be it stamps, coins, or whatever.

What she was really trying to do was play me for a fool. She thought that she would bring these stamps over with false stories about how much they were worth and I would jump at the chance to fork over a large sum of money before someone else grabbed them. She thought I was some idiot that had no clue about the real value of stamps. Every step of the way, I wasn’t pulling out a wad of bills and she wasn’t happy.

I made her an honest offer of a few dollars for what was there. She was insistent that it was worth thousands. Not in my book!

Her next step was to say that her kids would play with the stamps. “That’s fine,” I said, “but most kids aren’t interested in stamps.” She agreed. She said her kids were about 10-12 years old. Can you say “video games” anyone? They don’t want stamps.

She made her final desperate attempt. “Well, there is a large dumpster in my driveway at home right now. Maybe I’ll just throw them in there.” She was expecting me to beg, “Oh, please! Don’t throw them in the dumpster! Here, will you take $2000 for those stamps?” At this point, I didn’t care because I knew she was lying to me. She’s going to throw them in the dumpster? What about the numerous dealers who were interested in them for big bucks? Aren’t you going to show them the stamps?

She was a very well dressed woman driving an expensive car. I got this vibe from her that she felt that she was better than everyone else on planet Earth, and especially better than some nerdy stamp dealer. She put me in mind of someone who advances her own causes no matter what the price is to others of less importance than her. I found her very arrogant and condescending. She uses people for her own financial advantage.

What is the moral of this story?

As a dealer, I appreciate honesty above all else. For example, I’ve dealt with sellers who honestly believed their collection was worth a lot of money. I disagreed and we didn’t make a deal. That’s OK and they can keep hoping for that big paycheck.

In this case though, the seller wasn’t being honest with me. She thought I was a fool that would just fork over large sums of cash without question. It didn’t happen. If someone was going to give her a pile of money for her stamps, you think she would remember the last name of at least one of the dealers she spoke about. She knew none of them because they never existed.

As she was getting ready to leave, I tried one last time and used satire. “Good luck with those other dealers you couldn’t remember. I hope you get a lot of money for those stamps.” She didn’t seem get the satire.

I never want to insult people. It’s not professional. I almost did though this time because I knew she was lying through her teeth about the value of the collection. I was tempted to say, “OK, you and I both know you’re lying about these other vague dealers. Let’s cut to the chase. Do you want the couple of bucks or not? If not, you’re wasting my precious time. Get out of my sight. I’m not giving you wads of money for inexpensive stamps. You’re not getting your free vacation to Bermuda at my foolish expense.”

Did the stamps go in the trash? Probably. I hate to see good stamps go in the trash. But what I hate more is if I paid a pile of money for something that was worth a few dollars. I’m not looking to be a millionaire. I’m just an honest guy looking to make an honest living. I certainly don’t want to lose money at my business. I wasn’t about to fund her lavish lifestyle at my expense.

If you’re interested in selling to me, at least be honest with me. If we can’t agree on the price, that’s fine. I have no problem with someone who clings to their opinion that their material is worth more than I offer. We’ll part as friends and agree to disagree. But don’t come to me with vague references to dealers whom you can’t name. I spot a liar a mile away. I’m not going to believe your false stories about other dealers throwing money at your feet hoping you sell your stamps to them. I’m not the smartest dealer in the world. However, I’m not a fool.